Motherhood

To The Working Moms Who Feel They’re Missing Out

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There are days that I work extended hours and I don’t really get to see my kids. And that sucks.

It’s 8 AM, I’m hugging and telling my son goodbye at preschool drop off. “Have a good day. I’ll see you when I get home tonight”. I depart with a hug and kiss, and his reminder to wave goodbye “really really close” to the window (the usual now). I get a ping in my stomach knowing it’s one of my late working nights. The days I won’t see him except bedtime if at all. The days I’m extra reliant on childcare help. The days it’s take-out for dinner because who wants to cook after leaving the house at 8:30 AM and returning home nearly 12 hours later. Not this mama.

The reality is the mornings are rushed. These late working days I get an hour each morning to see my kids. An hour of rushed time getting him up, dressed, teeth brushed, hair if I’m lucky, bags packed, whining averted, giving reminders or orders so we’re not all late. If you’re 2 minutes behind schedule that’s it, you’re stuck behind every bus in town. I don’t want to be the barking Mom at 7:30 AM saying get your shoes ten times. I feel the guilt in what little time we have before our school or work day starts, it might be spent in a yell or frustration when I’m rushing or not catching your attention or you’re distracted.

What I do love is the ride to school. I take my breath, we’ve made it this far. I like to be timely and seeing our forward motion of being en route makes me less stressed at that point in time. I love our conversations and picking out the house you’d want to live in because it’s red, your favorite color. And showing you my favorite on the road. I say we can be neighbors, and you say you wanna live with me (awww I know it won’t always be like this).

Then there’s my peanut. She gets put down for independent play or dodging her older brother while Mama gets everything and everyone ready. She gets left behind if my childcare or husband are at the house early. It’s so much easier to NOT have to carry the heavy car seat around. The days she gets to come I do enjoy the hugs and kisses big brother smothers her with, the babbling in the backseat. Mornings still are rushed when we return home. I have to pack up my things but I’m sure to give her hugs and kisses, and nurse her one more time. I often lose track of my targeted time to leave because there’s still so much to do or I want to see her a bit more.

Working a late night is different for her. She’s usually (and should) be asleep already if she’s following her normal schedule. But don’t worry, she still likes to wake through the night and we get some QT with me. My son anxiously awaits my return home at night. Tonight I was welcomed with “Mama!” and a very large hug. Heart melting. Even though there’s a million things to do I try to focus on positive interactions, limiting getting frustrated with him if he’s difficult to get to sleep. I try to cherish our little bit of time together at night. The conversations. The book reading and snuggles. The prayers he says. The silliness. His smile.

As I lay next to him, I take in his smell. The tight hugs and snuggles as he drifts to sleep. I lay there an extra few minutes to soak it all in. Tomorrow is a new day but I want to take advantage of the little time I had face to face with him today. And when Peanut awakes it’ll be her turn for snuggles and kisses with Mama. It was a long working day for me but I have many roles and many jobs, Mama being the most important one.

To The Working Moms Who Feel They're Missing Out

20 thoughts on “To The Working Moms Who Feel They’re Missing Out

  1. Yes! I know exactly how you feel!!! Now that my daughter is in school full-time, those feelings of being tugged in two directions has certainly decreased! The hardest times for me now are the days when I have to leave for the office before my daughter wakes up. I hate those days. She calls me on the way to school and sends me a crazy selfie. Then when I get home after work, I leave the laundry and make a simple dinner so we can spend quality time together.

  2. Very well written! A year ago, I made the decision to leave my high stress career and stay home with my two girls. I love the time with them, but now there are new struggles, and I’m still the mom yelling to “get your shoes on”at 7:30. Mom guilt is real, and it comes in all different forms:)!

  3. I totally connect and get you from this post. I am a working mama but I work from home. Still, the kids attend school and as they have their own lives, so do we as moms. The challenge of playing many roles as mother is part of the path of our amazing journey. I celebrate you for knowing your priorities and loving your kids with your whole heart. Blessings 💗 Evelyn, PathofPresence

  4. It can be so hard to juggle it all! But you’re right…taking in those special moments make it all worthwhile! There are pros and cons to be a working mama…and we’re all doing the best we can!

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