7 Things New Moms Really Want, But Won’t Necessarily Ask For

You’ve made it home and survived your first few days, weeks, or months home. While the comfort of home beats the hospital, life with a newborn or baby is just plain hard.

Some may have had practice at this mom thing with other children at home, others are new to this rodeo. The things they have in common are some shared struggles new moms have. Some are more vocal about their needs than others. I’ll speak for the less vocal and give you some insight into what new moms really want but won’t necessarily ask for…and aren’t on all those baby registry checklists.


Going grocery shopping while recovering from delivery is hard. Cooking a meal while baby is screaming and needs you is hard. Putting the need of your baby eating before yourself…snacking on junk instead of a meal or actual lunch…ordering take out…they’re all likely things to happen to new parents. Even for two parent households and your partner’s help cooking an actual meal and eating it while it’s hot can be a challenge. If you’re planning to visit new parents in the near future offer to bring a meal, either to eat together during the visit or even prepare a meal that they can heat up in a jiffy later that week. Bonus points for helping do the grocery shopping.

A Hot Shower, Uninterrupted

One of my favorite self care activities is an uninterrupted shower or bath. When a new baby (or babies) comes home there certainly is an adjustment period. Catching a shower and changing those clothes that have throw up on them could easily be pushed to the back of the to do list. Next time you’re planning a visit offer up some free time to watch the baby while Mom gets some uninterrupted time to take a shower.

Help Around The House

It’s easy for things to pile up as a parent, especially when there is a newborn in the house. Offering to help clean, do the laundry, or put the dishes away can be a huge weight lifted off the new parents shoulders. It may be hard for the new parent to ask for the help, but if they are open to you extending an offer this can go a long way.

Adult Conversation

You showing up at the door and having a conversation with a new mom could be the highlight of her day! Being home with a baby can make new moms think the extent of their conversations are all baby talk. Live far away? A phone call can be just as helpful to have someone just listen and talk normal conversations.

7 Things New Moms Really Want But Won’t Necessarily Ask For


Loss of sleep or sleep deprivation is an expected downside to having a newborn. New moms might be able to catch a nap when baby naps but no matter what it’s just plain hard to function without much sleep. Now consider it’s a mom with other children in the home. There is no more “sleep when the baby sleeps”. If you have a close enough relationship that mom trusts you to hold down the fort for a while, offer to take care of the baby and children while she gets a nap.

Attention To Other Child(ren)

Here’s the thing about new moms and dads. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re new to the parenting world. Other children could be in the home and adjusting to life with a newborn baby as well. Option 1: Offer to take the other child or children out for a fun activity. Option 2: Offer to watch the baby so that Mom/Dad can take the other child or children out for a fun activity. Option 1 allows for the children to get out of the house and have fun time, meanwhile it gives the parent(s) a little break. Option 2 allows for the parent(s) to still connect and spend time with the other children which can be so important to both parties.

Free Time To Be Me

A shopping trip to Target ALONE could be the best thing since sliced bread for a new mom. How about grocery shopping, getting her nails done, seeing a friend, working out. Whatever it might be that the new mom needs or might want to do baby or kid free, offer to babysit so that she can have free time to be herself. Don’t forget about dad too, he might also be in need of some me time. Better yet maybe mom and dad/partner can do a date day or date night rather than having date night at home.

10 thoughts on “7 Things New Moms Really Want, But Won’t Necessarily Ask For

  1. Yes, to all of this! It’s so hard to ask for help, but you will feel so much better if you do. Even just running to the gas station for a coke for a quick break while someone else watches the kids can do wonders. You got this mama!

  2. Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. So often new parents don’t want to burden others who ask or offer to help. But it is so true. I wanted and needed that support when my little girl was born and I feel like I still would love that support now. Reading this post makes me think that I really need to team up with a group of mamas that understand and can help me carry the load when I am too overwhelmed to do so. Sometimes family are a great resource but in my case where distance and time presents challenges…they are not the best resource for me.

  3. I can’t stress bringing over food when you visit enough. Even if it’s a burger and fries from McDonald’s! I had postpartum depression after my oldest was born and the food/meals that our friends brought over during the first two months was the thing I ate because I didn’t always have the energy or desire to make myself anything. It was the most helpful thing ever!

  4. This is a great list! My youngest of 2 is 18 months old now, but I remember feeling very overwhelmed at the beginning. I think that my first was the hardest with these things. With my second I knew what I was in for and I was better for letting people know what I needed.

  5. Yes to all! It really helps to have a great support system. And just like what they say, “It takes a village to raise a child.” It would be really difficult to do everything on your own. I hope your getting all these help for yourself. 🙂

  6. I was so guilt of not wanting to ask for help! It is a pride thing, that’s for sure. You don’t want others to think you’re a bad mom by asking for help. I quickly got over that and asked for some help!

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